Yes, I still have a blog. It’s just that growing a baby while keeping another one alive is exhausting work. Especially when you’re still throwing up semi-regularly. Not every day, but once a week maybe. This morning I actually had to pull the car over so that I could throw up, which is something that I was hoping to avoid with this pregnancy.
I’m 20 weeks into this, which hopefully means I’m over half way (if Stella’s arrival is any indication, and though I know it’s not I’m still hoping for an early delivery). In some ways it’s gone a lot faster than my first pregnancy but in others it’s just dragging on. But that’s pregnancy for you. This is my last one so I know I should be looking for ways to enjoy it but mostly I’m just counting down the days until I will never be pregnant again.
Because I had gestational diabetes with Stella I had to take the glucose test at 11 weeks. I took three tests last time (one 1-hour and two 3-hour) and after getting one sip of that horrible drink (which isn’t so horrible if you only have to drink it once), I would be lying if I said that a failing test would have upset me. At least then I wouldn’t have to continue taking that test. I passed, though, and not just barely, either. Not that that’s given me license to go hog wild with my diet. No, sugar makes me sick (unless it’s in fruit, thankfully) so I’m constantly scanning nutritional information to see what I can eat and how much. Even sugar free things (like this delicious dark chocolate) are lies because they use sugar alcohols, which are only slightly better than sugar. So all those Baby Center notices I get telling me to indulge in ice cream because it’s full of calcium and the baby needs that just add more salt (or, in this case, sugar) to the wound. I eat a lot of fruit and drink a lot of milk and that seems to sate and sweet tooth I may have had. I don’t even care for milk usually but this pregnancy I can’t seem to get enough of it.
We found out a few weeks ago that we’re having a boy, which shocked us both, though I don’t know why. I know that children are different, even when they’re the same gender (take a look at our nieces), but if we were having another girl I could have easily convinced myself that she would sleep/eat/behave just as well as Stella has. Having a boy means that I’m forced to face the fact that babies are different and he could be a horrible sleeper/eater who cries all the time and that scares the heck out of me. So what I’m doing now is taking credit for a lot of Stella’s personality that may have nothing to do with our parenting at all, but at least this way I can stop worrying and tell myself that I will teach this boy how to be awesome in those areas. All you parents of more than one kid, hush yourself. I need to believe this to get through the next five months.
We have boxes and boxes of girl clothing that I need to go through and sort and decide what goes to which of my friends (and maybe family) having girls. I’m keeping one box for my brother for when he might some day have a baby girl (mostly those adorable and expensive dresses my mom bought ) and the rest will get divided among the new baby girls we know. Right now our closet is just boxes full of clothes and I’m looking forward to having these out of our house. We are running short on space so every bit of storage counts.
We still haven’t decided on sleeping arrangements, though for the time being everything is staying the same and the baby will go in our room while we have my parents and then Wes’ mom with us after he’s born. This is also something that I think about daily and is stressing me out. When we moved to Hawaii four years ago we thought we’d be here for 2 1/2 – 3 years; that we’d maybe bring an infant home here but no way would we have two. And we have no idea of how much longer we’ll be here.
So that’s what’s going on in my brain. I can’t nap anymore because it makes sleeping through the night impossible, so hopefully I’ll get back here to regale you with more fun stories of baby clothes and storage issues.