Aloha, Part II

Scene: Our Apartment, Friday Afternoon

Wes, walking through the door with a child-like grin on his face: Hola!

Me, wondering why the heck he’s saying “hola”: Hola!?

Wes, same as before: Hola!

Me, wondering if maybe he’s got a midget Mexican in a sombrero behind him: Hola!?

Wes: Hola!

Me, finally getting it: Are you trying to say “Aloha!”?  Are we going to Hawaii?

Wes: Dammit!

*************

The first move we had to deal with – the one down here to Southern California – was completely unexpected for both of us.  Wes thought his project in the Bay Area would last for another three months so when he got the call to pack up and move to Orange County it was a bit of a shock.  I definitely cried.  We had talked about my going with him in the past, but we were both so sure that we had time to before we had to actually make the final decision.

Obviously I joined him, we all know that now.  And we all know that story ended: we’re engaged and now moving to Hawaii.  But when I moved down here last July, I had no idea where this all was going.  A lot of conversations were had about where we’d like it to go, but the months went by and it was totally unclear (to me) whether or not we’d actually get there.  I worried about what would happen when his next transfer came and what a future life in this industry would mean for me.  I resented the hell out of Wes’ job for a long time because every time he moved, I would have to move too – quit my job, leave my friends and make a new home in some new place, never knowing where that place would be.

A year and half later, things have definitely changed.  I’m so ready to take this step towards my new life.  I’m less worried about all these moves (until I’m worried again for a new reason *cough*kids*cough*) and ready to face the challenges and adventures with Wes.  I care less about what my life is going to look like and more what our life is going to be like.

*************

I’m not sure Hawaii was the first choice for either of us.  We were both (not so secretly) hoping that we’d be in the northwest, closer to our families.  We were looking forward to skiing, hiking, putting all of our winter clothes to use and, just maybe, buying a house.  And getting a dog.  Except for the hiking, none of those things will happen in Hawaii.

But (of course there’s a but), so many other things will.  We will dive the hell out of those islands.  And hike.  Maybe learn to sail.  We’ll finally learn to surf.  We’ll travel to Asia and soak up as much of Hawaii as we can before we get the next call, and there will be a next call.  Hawaii isn’t forever, we both know that.  So we’re looking at this as an adventure.

Is there anything on the islands that we need to do while we’re there?  Tell me all, we’ve got plenty of time.

Aloha, Bitches!

Where we’ll be living Iin a month(ish):

Update

So I was doing really good at the NaBloPoMo, right?  Well, sort of.  To be honest, I should have failed on day 3 or something like that.  But my mom sent me a text message just as I was headed to dream land and I put up a quick post about something trivial.  And then she text messaged me on several different days when I was woefully slacking (because that’s what I do).  I’m sort of ambivalent on how I feel about it.  Thankful that she prompted me?  Upset that I couldn’t fail (or succeed) on my own?  Mad when I finally did fail because she didn’t remind me?

Probably all of the above.  I want to make this blog a serious part of my life but I have a hard time getting there.  As evidenced by how often I post, and what I post about.  I leave a lot of stuff out because I’m worried of how it will sound to people who know me and read this (though, to be fair, not a lot are regular readers (and there’s a whole slew of emotions on that one as well) so why I bother to censor certain things is beyond me.).  So maybe I’ll just stop.  Stop censoring myself, that is.

And let’s start with the wedding.  I’m overwhelmed at how much there is to do.  I’m overwhelmed with how much people want to help us find a place to get married.  I’m overwhelmed with trying to make sure that everyone gets their say and that everything is easy for everyone.  I’m trying to make this wedding into all things for all people when really it’s just about two people: me and Wes.  And yet, I still can’t help but want to please as many people as possible.  So we pick Portland where it’s fairly central and not crazy expensive to get to; but then my mom is bummed because we picked Portland over Boise.  And let’s not even count the amount of weddings that everyone I know seems to be going to in 2010.  A lot.  And after attending four this year, I totally understand how sucky this is – especially when so many of them are out of town.

We spent the last weekend in Portland searching for venues and it was just exhausting.  And we only looked at 7!  Over four days!  Nothing popped out at us so we’re going back in three weeks to try again.  I was hoping that some place would just stand out and we’d both go “Oh yeah, this is it.”  But nothing has been like that*.

The amount of money that a wedding takes to put on is giving me nightmares.  Do I want to (make my parents) go in debt to host this thing?  Absolutely not.  Do I want our family and friends there to celebrate with us?  Very much so.   What I want is the ease and cost of just eloping, but with all of our friends and family to celebrate.  And for my dad to walk me down the aisle.

I think I’m feeling down because I really want our wedding to be awesome and I’m stressing myself out trying to get it to that point.  On top of that, in the wake of Prop 8 in California and other let downs in Maine and NY, I’m feeling guilty that I can marry when so many people can.  I feel selfish for making this happen when I have friends who can’t.

I’ll snap out of once we get things going.  (Well, the overwhelming feeling I have; I think I’ll still be upset out stupid people voting stupidly on something that shouldn’t even be debated – if same-sex couples want to go through this hassle and then maybe deal with divorces when spouses cheat (if Tiger can cheat, anyone can cheat) then let them.)  I fly to San Francisco next weekend to try on wedding dresses and mingle with friends and bridesmaids and hopefully chill the fuck out.  After that it’s back to Portland where we will look at even more venues – as many venues as we can fit in two days – and hopefully this wedding will take shape.  After that it’s Christmas in Boise.   Each trip brings us closer to the transfer and I’m crossing my fingers that we’ll find out soon where that next move will take us.

*The one thing we managed to accomplish on this trip to Portland is to find wedding bands and I could not be more excited about what we came up with.  So excited that eloping sounds better and better, the quicker I can get that beauty on my finger!

NaBloPoMo, Day 27

Tomorrow’s schedule: wedding band shopping and looking at two potential wedding venues. In the evening: meet up with friends and rub newly pregnant T’s belly. For good luck or something.

Is it December yet?

Thanksgiving in Pictures

Boarding the plane.

Vegas

Portland

NaBloPoMo, Day 25

I’m starting my Thanksgiving holidays trying not to get sick. Fun.

Work Perks

Monday in Numbers

9.5: number on a scale of 1 to 10 of how much I would like to wake up tomorrow and have this wedding be planned.

1million (give or take): the number of times I thought about the upcoming (and unknown) move.

3: the number of wedding albums I looked at today.

2: the number of times I choked at he pricetag for some weddings ($50k?!).

3.2: the number of miles I ran this evening.

4: the number of excuses I came up with to get out of running before Wes made me so that he didn’t become an enabler. A pusher is much better.

2: number of days until we are in chillier climes.

5ish: the number of days we’ll be in said climes.

Crab, It’s What’s For Dinner

No, I did not make this. If I had there would be less spice.

NaBloPoMo, Day 21

Pictures can be deceiving. Like the picture of a super cute wedding dress (to which I would link were I not on my phone) that I tried on today. After driving to Pasadena to do so. The woman helping me wasn’t helpful at all and the dress that was so beautiful online (on a beautiful blonde model, of course) was a limp shell of what I had been envisioning. Hopefully the trip to SF goes better than this and I can actually find a dress and cross that item off my list. It will be nice to actually start marking off some of the big things. Like a wedding venue. Until then I’ll settle for a dress that doesn’t male me look pregnant, hippy (wide, not granola) or twelve sizes larger than I actually am.