I am forgetful and absent-minded. When I read Rebecca’s stories about forgetting something important, I almost want to cry with her because Oh my god have I been there. I’m the type of person who plans elaborate meals with recipes I’ve only just glanced at, and then forgets a crucial ingredient. And when I get back from the grocery store with said ingredient, I’ll realize that I’ve forgotten two more ingredients. And, yes, it will ruin my entire evening (no matter who happens to be in the kitchen with me).
I know it shouldn’t matter, I know that. But somehow it does. It matters that I can’t get things right the first time around. It matters that no matter how many times I screw something up, I can’t get it right the next time around. I will always forget ingredients and misplace my keys.
I’m self-aware enough to know that I hate this trait about myself, but not aware enough to stop it from happening the next time around. That’s what infuriates me.
So it should come as no surprise that my wedding nightmares – it seems that, lacking anything else to worry about, my subconscious will make things up to worry about – revolve around me forgetting some key part my preparation for the wedding. I dreamed that I forgot to go to my hair and make up appointment. All my bridesmaids made it there, but I couldn’t be bothered to remember.
Last Thursday I dreamed that the wedding was on Saturday and I didn’t have a flight to Oregon. This particular scenario is a sensitive subject ever since January when, the day before flying to Oregon, I realized that I didn’t buy my ticket. And then, after buying a less-than-cheap ticket, I forgot to double check the time and completely missed the flight.
Whenever I wake up from these dreams I spend most of the day making lists of things I need to do or have done for the wedding, hoping that I won’t forget something serious. Like my shoes, which I made Wes’ dad pack down so that I could practice walking in them so that I wouldn’t fall down while walking down the aisle and are now sitting in the closet, having been worn only once since they arrived two weeks ago. I’ll probably need to leave post-its with the important items I need to bring home.
Luckily, I have a great group of girls surrounding me the wedding week. They’ll keep me on track and make sure I get to the salon on time. Brette even said she’d fly to come get me if I didn’t make my flight. And even if I do miss something, I know that at the end of the aisle a forgiving and understanding man who is ready to marry me. Who would marry me even if I wasn’t wearing make up or my hair wasn’t fancied up.