I have never understood cheating. Never. If a relationship is so bad that you want to cheat, why not just end it? What is worth hanging around for if you want to have sex with someone else? What is a relationship worth if you’re turning to someone else?
Last night I had a dream. In it a guy that I work with (who later turned to Marshall from How I Met Your Mother) was totally flirting with me. And then he wanted to kiss. Now, don’t get me wrong, this guy is attractive, but even in my dream I couldn’t cheat. What would be the point? Sure, he’s good looking, but he’s not my boyfriend. And that, ultimately, makes him less good looking.
Before this relationship, my longest one (if it even qualifies as a “relationship”) was only 3 months. 3 months! That’s not even enough time to get to know someone. Or, in my case, it’s enough time to get to know them well enough to know that you’re not interested in going any further. So they ended. I didn’t stay with them and then cheat. They fizzled out or I broke it off. Why sneak around in a shitty relationship?
When I met my boyfriend I was pretty convinced that maybe I wasn’t a long-term relationship type of person. But then something pretty amazing happened: I wanted to continue seeing him. We had a great time together, and for the first couple of months I was so afraid that I would get bored and the cycle would start again. But I didn’t. And, almost three years later, I haven’t.
Reading Chuck Klosterman’s latest book, IV, I came across this quote: “If something is good today, it will be good tomorrow. Variety is overrated; variety is for philanderers.” To be fair, I think that Chuck was referring to the time that he ate McDonald’s chicken mcnuggets for a week straight, but you get the idea.
There is always someone out there who is going to be better looking (even if you’re Victoria and David Beckham). But that doesn’t mean you have to sleep with that person. You make a decision, once you fall in love, to be with that person. You’re either in or you’re out. Once you decide that, you owe it to that person to at least be honest if something changes.
There’s nothing wrong with admitting defeat.