The question I get most often lately is this: How goes the living situation?
Because, yes, I’ve publicly stated how scared I was that this would all blow up in my face once we moved in together. And not because I think that our relationship isn’t strong enough but because I am sort of, well, crazy. I’m moody, which sometimes leads to not nice words or actions. I like things a certain way – which is not to say that it’s the right way, just that it’s my way. So yes, I was worried that once Wes got to see this side of me (believe me, it’s a lot different when it’s not your place and you’re just visiting) he would take a step back and wonder what exactly had changed in the past nine months to turn me into this person who cares about which drawer certain utensils go in (the answer: it doesn’t matter as long as you put it back into the same drawer every single time).
We have two couple friends who recently moved in together. I’m not sure what the guys are telling each other (if they tell each other anything at all), but the girlfriends admitted that yes, it is a difficult transition. One said that she would snap at her boyfriend just because he was there and she was frustrated with any number of things. The other said that things changed on the fifth day when you realize this is permanent and that the other person is not going home.
I guess things are a little different for us because it doesn’t feel like I actually live here yet. I mean, I have no job so I spend my days on frivolous things like reading, exercising, and lounging by the pool. Since I’ve spent the past nine months just visiting Huntington Beach, I still have that mentality that I’m only on vacation (albeit with all my possessions).
Which is not to say that this hasn’t been a transition; it has. It just doesn’t feel like the full transition yet.
Our apartment is wicked small, which was fine when it was just Wes’ things in here. But when you combine all of our things together it has this very, um, lived in look, to put it nicely. There’s just not enough places to put all of our things.
The hardest part so far, for me, is the grocery shopping. After having spent almost a decade grocery shopping for just myself and giving no thought to whether other people like skim milk or not (okay, that’s not true; I buy 1% when Wes comes over), it’s hard now to compromise. He like I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter. I, on the other hand, use actual butter. So it’s those things that I’m getting used to. The give and take of sharing not only your life with someone, but your living quarters as well.
We haven’t had any serious issues and I’m hoping that it continues that way.
I’m also hoping that in the future I’ll be able to do the grocery shopping alone and put an end to this margarine nonsense.
But until then, it goes well. It’s a different feeling living with someone who is emphatically not just a roommate. I sometimes look out the window as we’re driving and have to remind myself that I live here; that we live together. Then I get excited for all the things we want to do together and it doesn’t matter that his choice of frozen foods differs from mine (read: is gross) or that he doesn’t like the comforter on at night. It just matters that I’m here now and we have so many more adventures coming our way.