I had this whole post set to publish about how Wes and I met: The Story of Wes & dani, if you will. But after I sat down to write Wes’ card I realized that that story is far less interesting than what we’ve been through the last year.
First there was his move from Oakland to Orange County. Nine months of back and forth and learning how to hold our relationship together from hundreds of miles apart. Counting down the days until we could see one another and finding ways to fill the time that was previous filled with each other. The worst part was that when we did finally get to see each other there was often a group of people who wanted to see him too. We spent two weeks visiting family over Christmas but didn’t get to spend a lot of time with each other. And that’s how we seemed to have spent the first five months: surrounded by other people.
Once that finally settled down and we actually got to be alone with each other, the months went by pretty quickly. The countdowns still continued; this time to my move down here. We were both so excited – so sure that this move would make everything better. All those months of mis(sed)communication would be over – our slate would be wiped clean – and we would start fresh in Orange County.
I’m sure that’s what the relationship gods were thinking. Ha.
The past four months have been some of the toughest in our relationship. We’ve been trying to navigate the waters of Hey, I don’t have a job and am rapidly running out of money and Hey, we’re both in an area we don’t want to be in and where we haven’t found a group of friends. This sucks. And they have been some murky waters, let me tell you. Nothing at all like the clear waters of Belize.
Oh, the discussions we’ve had that have led to fights. Which were then turned back into discussions because, really, do we need to be yelling at each other? Or crying? But then, a week later it comes up again because guess what? I still don’t have a job. We still don’t like it here and we still haven’t found a group of friends. Or good restaurants. Or a dive bar to call our own.
These have been rough months and sometimes I wondered if quitting my job and moving down here without a replacement job was good idea. And then the election. You remember that? Where we were on opposing sides of the table. Oh, yeah, that’s been fun. The water. It just got murkier.
But here’s what it comes down to: a choice. And my choice through these murky waters is to have Wes by my side. The person who’s willing to help support me while I find my bearings here in this county of oranges. The person who will still hold me while I’m crying even after I yelled at him for thirty minutes. The person who lets me drive his car. Who trusts me enough to cut his hair. Who is a great gift-giver and planner of birthdays. The person who has given me an amazing three years.
And many more to come.