Harder Than Expected

So here’s the thing about growing up: it sucks.  And what sucks most is making friends.  In school it was so easy to meet people; they were everywhere.  The person sitting next to you in any class could become a friend; the coworker at your part time job could become a confidante.  Anyone, anywhere, could become someone important in your life.  Well, for a time being.  Obviously the people I met in college weren’t meant to be life-long friends, but they did get me through some pretty tough times.  They were there when I needed them, and perhaps now I don’t need them anymore so it’s all good that they just started fading out.  Maybe the friends I met post-college were meant to be my life-long friends, as it seems to be now.

Unfortunately, I left them all behind in Northern California.  And, like I said, making friends is hard.  Most of the people I work with are older than me and have kids or are married.  Or, for whatever reason, we just haven’t meshed as friends.  As coworkers who laugh and occasionally enjoy a good joke, perhaps, but we haven’t worked our way into the Hey-what-are-you-up-to-this-weekend phase of a friendship.

Wes is out of town this weekend and I’m feeling the absence of friendship more so than I usually do.  This weekend, while spread out before me in a series of naps and deliciously spicy food, is also going to be a little bit lonely.  No one to call for a late-night drink, or an early morning run followed by brunch.

Over the past six months nine months I’ve met a handful of women, but none have become friends of mine.  We are friendly to each other when we see each other, but we’ve never crossed the line to becoming call-on-the-phone-when-I’m-having-a-bad-day friend.  I’m not sure we’ll ever cross that line.  When we were in Belize, though, we went diving a couple of times with another woman who was also there for a diving trip.  We exchanged e-mail addresses and became facebook friends and have been sending each other small notes back and forth ever since.  Not great friends, no, but friends nonetheless.  Friendly enough, in fact, that we talked, in the abstract, about going on a diving trip together.  Tonight, that became a little less abstract when I told her to visit us for a SCUBA trip and she responded that she and another lady friend are trying to plan something and would I be interested in joining.  Now, even though I’ve only spent approximately 36 hours with her, I feel comfortable enough to respond that Yes, I absolutely would be interested.  As long as it’s some place warm because diving in warm water is way better than diving in cold water.

I’m not entirely sure where I’m going with this, except for the fact that I’m alone for the next couple of days and I don’t have any friends to enjoy it with.  So it looks like I’ll be enjoying some sweet alone time.   At least for the next six months.

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Filed under Friends, Me

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