Throughout the week I have all sorts of delusions about my Friday. Thoughts of how much I’m going to get done – cleaning, laundry, the gym, writing, reading. And I absolutely plan to do all of those things. I want to. But come Friday I just want to be lazy. I want to stay in my pajamas all day and watch tv because there is really nothing better than a day being lazy, is there?
The only problem is that by the time the evening rolls around I feel like the day has just been completely fucking wasted. And then I’m mad at myself for having been so lazy, for not doing one productive thing.
Today, being Friday – coupled with the fact that Wes comes home tonight – started out with the desire to clean up and do laundry and try to make the place look the presentable. And get to the gym. And still have time to be lazy and watch tv. I think we can all see where this is going: there just aren’t enough hours in the day to be productive. Wait, no, that’s not it. There’s not enough motivation in the day to be productive! Yes, that’s it. I need more motivation.
No, that’s not it either. What I need is to tap into the motivation I’ve already written down. It’s there, I’ve just got to want to be productive more than I want to be lazy. That will be the hard part.