Frustration

Sometimes I get so frustrated by everything going on that I just want to lay in bed and cry.  Or yell at anyone who tries to tell me that it will all be okay.  That everything happens for a reason.  That all you need is love.  Because while I believe that in the best of times, when things are looking bleak – or just not as easy as I would like – I can’t see how it will all come together in the end.

We’re in Hawaii and this first week is all taken up with finding a place to live.  And, of course, it’s not easy at all.  There is no one website to look at for rentals, not apartment complexes with leasing offices.  There are condos and houses that owners are renting but it seems almost impossible to find those places.  And the difference between the good places and the crappy places is huge.  One nice place set between a busy street and three shit-hole apartment complexes.  The nicest place on the island that we’ve seen so far seems to have no office work whatsoever, so that means I’d be dealing with a huge commute to Honolulu for work or taking some retail job near home.  I’m not sure which one sounds worse.

I was, miraculously, offered a job this afternoon.  A job that is less than ideal, but a job nonetheless.  The pay is $7k/year less than what I was making before, which was nearly $20k less than what I was making in the Bay Area.  And the commute is much more than I was making in Orange County.  But a job is a job, right?  Or is it?  I can’t decide anymore.  I was so unhappy with everything at my last job and I went into that with high hopes.  This new job doesn’t feel exciting in anyway and the pay is worse, but should I take it just to have a job?

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Filed under Fleeing blah, Hawaii, Job hunting sucks, Relationships are hard

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