Yesterday marked one month of being married and, if not for the text message my mom sent us at 6:15am (“Happy One Month Anniversary! Love you! Love Mama!”), I think the would have passed without either of us taking notice that it has been 31 days since we said, “I Will” (post forthcoming as soon as the official photos arrive). For us, marriage is a lot like being engaged, and being engaged was a lot like dating. Which is to say: not much has changed in a month.
Wes and I have lived together for over two years and we’ve been together for almost five. We’ve been playing house for a long time. Just before we found out we were moving to Hawaii we became domestic partners so that we wouldn’t have to pay my moving expenses and I could be jobless and insured without having to deal with COBRA and their outrageous rates. I was on Wes’ credit card and bank accounts and was his beneficiary before we even picked a wedding date.
The only things that have changed are my last name (which wasn’t as emotionally difficult as I had built it up to be) and the amount of rings on our fingers.
My first “I’m married!” moment – outside of the wedding – happened while we were on our honeymoon. It was during the diving portion of our trip. The first day we had to instructors – Brian from London and Tom from Belgium – and both were attractive. While we were under water I was deciding which was the cuter of the two and suddenly though, “Holy Shit! I’m married! It doesn’t matter which one is better looking!” I tried to explain it to Wes over dinner one night and this is what it is: before you’re married there are endless possibilities. And not that I was out there searching for some other, better option, but dating isn’t forever. Marriage is.
(And please let me clarify that I’m not implying that I settled for Wes or that I think there is a better option out there.)
31 days down. According to Wes, only 10,000 more to go. Let’s hope that once he actually calculates how many years that is, he ups that to 1 million days. Or something like that.