That’s what the mothers in my life tell me: you’ll forget how awful you feel right now and you’ll want to do it all over again. That’s what I’m counting on. Morning sickness (which is a huge misnomer as it lasts all fucking day) seems to be back as strong as it ever was. The zofran is only mildly helping, in that I maybe don’t throw up every few hours but I still feel near-constant nausea.
A lot of people are telling me that a lot of morning sickness means the baby’s healthy, which I don’t think is true. All it means is that my body has a lot of hormones running through it and as long as I’m still getting sick my body still has a baby to support. I admit to a little comfort in this fact over the past few weeks, when all I had to prove I was pregnant was how sick I was. But now I’m ready for those hormones to level off and to get to the relatively easy part that is supposed to be the second trimester; to have some energy back; to want to eat again.
Baby gifts are making their way to us and we have started talking about re-arrangements that need to be made for the baby. Six months from now we’ll be a family of four (I know, Tsunami’s “just” a dog, but she’ll always be part of the family number) and the thought makes me scared and excited all at the same time. How many things will change when we have a baby to think about. We thought when we got a dog our carefree lifestyle was gone, and it was, in a way; but nothing will compare to bringing a baby home.
So, yes, right now this whole pregnancy thing fucking sucks. But I know that when the baby comes I’ll have very little recollection of the details of these first few months. I’ll remember them being not great but the specifics will be lost. I’ll forget because the baby at the end of this journey will make me forget.