Every day is an adventure. Some are good and some are bad. Some days I think I am kicking ass at this parenting gig but the very next day I’ll be a mess of tears because Stella won’t nap and doesn’t want to be set down and won’t stop crying and Tsunami’s looking at me like Why don’t you love me anymore? and the floors need to be vacuumed and the dishwasher unloaded and diapers washed and I’m running on four- to five-hour increments of sleep (which I realize is a long stretch of time when talking about a 1 1/2 month old baby).
Right now Stella likes to be rocked or walked around. Sometimes she’ll find a comfortable spot and stay there until she falls asleep, but other days she’ll grunt her way around our chests and shoulders, searching for the perfect spot to fall asleep on; some days she doesn’t find it and we end up walking circles around the apartment. She’s taken to sucking on her fist when it presents itself in front of her face (she still can’t find it on her own). She started smiling over the weekend and I find myself spending all her waking hours trying to illicit more of them. Wes and I will try funny faces or noises in hopes that she’ll find some humor or comfort in them but right now we’re still getting a lot of looks of What the hell are you doing and why aren’t you up and walking me around? We get it, there’s a lot for her new eyes to see. Everything is new and she wants to see it all. I can’t wait until she can hold her head up and enjoy the view in a play saucer so that my back can have a rest.
She stretches in her sleep and with each movement I hope that she doesn’t startle herself awake because there is nothing more awful than a tired baby who can’t get to sleep, even my baby who is the most perfect baby ever. I’m torn between trying to get her to figure out how to put herself back to sleep and just helping her out to make sure that she stays asleep and un-grumpy. I tell myself, You can’t spoil a baby under 2 months old and hope that it’s true.
We celebrated Halloween by crashing a friend’s neighborhood block party and dressed Stella up in a bear costume for 0-3 month olds that we were planning to take with us to Portland but realized that wouldn’t be happening when she barely fit into it in just a diaper and onesie.
Next year we’ll be a little more creative with Halloween costumes and hopefully be able to incorporate Tsunami into some sort of family ensemble when we take her around for her treats. We’re already brainstorming.
In other news, I decided to tackle Stella’s clothes after rotating through the same 5 onesies when she has a full dresser and closet and even boxes of clothing, and it’s a good thing because I found so many more outfits that will probably only fit her for a few more weeks. Including this number that probably should have come out a couple of weeks ago when her grandmothers actually were here, but whatever. Better now than finding it when it’s too small for her. I couldn’t resist the sunglasses and was surprised when she just kept them on. They’re still a little too big for her but when they do fit she’ll be rocking those things all the time.
And, of course, we can’t forget about Aunt Wendy and Auntie Coop (Coop, you can be upgraded to an Aunt when Porter makes an honest lady out of you). It took hours to get that photo because she was a screaming sleepy mess yesterday. Why babies fight sleep so much is beyond me.
And, today, we voted. There was a moment of worry this morning when I realized that we had to turn in our absentee ballots three days prior to the election and I wasn’t sure if I would be able to vote. And then another moment of worry when my name wasn’t on the list to vote at the polling location I voted at last time and Wes said my name didn’t show up when he searched for our polling place on line. In the end, though, my name was on the list at the polling place (an elementary school that neither of us knew even existed before today) so I was able to cast my ballot, which is good because I’m still a little hormonal and not voting would have made me sad because even though Stella’s too little to know what’s going on I liked the idea of taking her with me to vote.
I’m trying to get a blogging schedule because everything goes so quickly that I’m forgetting what has happened and I want to remember. Stella’s already seven weeks old and every day something new happens or she changes in some small way and I want to remember what she was like and document how she’s changing, which can’t happen if I don’t sit down and document it. I should have started NaBloPoMo again this year but I didn’t realize it was November until the second so that’s out. Instead I’ll try for every week day and spend some time taking pictures of our every day life. Even if it’s just a bunch of pictures of Stella sleeping or strapped into her car seat for a walk.