I love a good list, and I make them all the time. To Do lists. Packing lists. Dinner lists. Grocery lists. All of them. I love the sense of accomplishment when I cross something off my list. Unfortunately, I usually get distracted by something or other (or I simply lose the list) and I don’t get the satisfaction of crossing anything off. Also related are the piles I make around the house (and which Wes hates, though I don’t blame him). I have plans to DO THINGS and then something else comes along and I forget what I had planned to do.
Which brings me to New Year’s Resolutions because that is the ultimate in list making. A set of goals that you want to accomplish throughout the year but that are usually abandoned before President’s Day. I make them every year, if not on paper then at least in my mind. Do Better. Be Better. Clean the bathrooms and the countertops and finally organize the photos and the kitchen. And. And. And. It’s no wonder I abandon them all.
And yet, I’ll still continue to make them. Because I want to be the type of person that has her piles under control. I want to be the type of person that makes a list and sticks to it instead of just not doing something. So this year I started thinking about goals before January 1st like I usually do. That said I wrote them in a journal that’s already upstairs in the bookshelf so I’m going by memory a little.
My follow-up diabetes test came back a little abnormal so now I have to do more testing. My GP thinks that this test will come back fine since it wasn’t even close when I had my physical in April. But if it does come back he’s pretty sure that Type 2 diabetes can be prevented with diet and exercise, which is something that I should be doing anyway since it does run in my family. I’ve been splurging on sugar a lot lately, which is a little weird since I have don’t really have a sweet tooth. I’ve already cut back a lot on carbs (pretty easy to do since I was eating a lot of them) but the sugar also needs to be cut back. A lot. As in, maybe we don’t need to buy ice cream every time we go grocery shopping. More vegetables and more fruits.
I’ve been thinking about running and goals surrounding that. I want number that’s realistic but also pushes me a bit. I think I ended up at 780 miles, which is 15 miles a week, which works out to 3 miles a day for 5 days. Pre-baby that would sound like a weak goal, but with a baby to push along and figure out timing and what not, it’s something I’ll have to push to make happen.
Surround myself with people who bring me up. We have so many friends out here that make me happier to be in a relationship because they are so happy. When I’m around them they bring me up and I love spending time with people like that. A few summer ago some girlfriends and I would sit around bitching about our husbands and I would come home annoyed. And my complaints were minor but when we were all together it felt like that’s what women should do: bitch about husbands. Those two ladies are now divorced from their husbands, and their complaints were real but I just got sucked into it because sometimes it’s easy. If the worst thing that bothers me about my husband is that he leaves milk glasses out occasionally, I’ll take it. So none of that. I want to focus on the good in my relationships and I want to stop making other people’s problems my own.
I want to write more letters and emails and send more post cards. I have a drawer of stationary that I’ve been hauling around for years, refusing to send it because it’s so pretty. So I keep it in a drawer instead. How much sense does that make? We have friends and family scattered around the country and I want to keep in touch with them on a more personal level than FaceBook.
I want to focus on what’s in front of me. Sometimes I feel like my days are no longer my own. I’m either with Stella or Wes and sometimes I just crave an hour to crawl into bed and read a book or do a crossword puzzle and not have to talk to anyone. So maybe I carve out time for that so that when I am around my family I’m with them and not fantasizing about an hour to myself. I’m incredibly lucky to have such a great husband and baby and I want to be present when I’m with them.
I want to write more. Every day. We spent New Year’s Eve with our friends who have a baby three months younger than Stella and it blows my mind that Stella was every that small and newborn. That she didn’t come out smiling and cooing and loving to watch football with her dad. Every day she changes and I want to write it down before I forget it all.
I want to take more pictures and make an effort to figure out my camera. I’ve had it for three years and I still can’t seem to remember anything I learn about it.
Go through my cookbooks. How many of these things do I own and hardly ever look at? So many. And every week I struggle to come up with a dinner menu and end up falling back on the old reliables. This year I’d like to try one new recipe a week.
Read a book. Not a lot of them. Maybe let’s start small with one book a month. I think I can handle that.
Keep making lists but stop making piles. Get shit done.
I’m going to bookmark this page and check back monthly to see how I’m doing because what’s the point of making goals if I’m just going to forget about them? 2013 isn’t just going to become amazing. I have to make it amazing.